Go · on · just · say · it

Today was interesting. It started out (at midnight) by kissing my wonderful boy. Then I drove him home and fell asleep with him. I woke up at 4:30 and went home. I woke up at 11:30 and felt like shit, fought with my mom, talked to Austin while he was at the airport even though my phone wasnt working, fought with my mom, went to the Verizon store and got a new phone, and then Mindi and Justin kidnapped me. We went to dinner at Olive Garden and were our usual loud giggling crazy selves. The people sitting in the booth to our right were laughing at us and talking about us the whole time. After they left, Mindi and I went to the bathroom and discussed the lady and how she sucked for laughing at us and making fun of us. I said that she was probably a republican, and that she probably hated homosexuals. Then we discussed the homosexual relationships in Six Feet Under, and other interesting topics which led back to bashing the bitch who had been making fun of us. As we finished washing our hands, the stall next to Mindi's opened...and out came the lady who we had been bashing for our whole stay in the bathroom. Mindi's face was to die for. Such great laughs.
We also made friends with our waiter. His name is Jerry, he was in Iraq and Afghanistan, he's a helicoptor pilot. He has an interview in Chicago tomorrow and he's getting married on Mindi's birthday next year. We liked him.
Then we rented movies to take to Justin's. We made fun of the ugly girl.
My boy is in Florida and I miss him already. Tonight is lonely.

So I stayed up last night and talked to Austin and didnt do any of my homework. This turned out to be just fine. I had a chem test today, one that I wasnt in school to learn the material for and one that I should have done the review for and didnt. Thats what I was supposed to study for last night. I get in there for FLEX today, ask her about 4 things on the review sheet, take the test, get an 89, get myself out of the lab that I didnt turn in, and end up with a 93 for first quarter. Go me.
I have a math yest tomorrow...this is scary, Im afraid that I am not as lucky at math as I am with Chem. I have 3 homeworks to do to get ready for my test.
I have realized that I live much better when I have something to look forward to in my near future. For example, I'm looking forwaed to friday ans saturday like no other and I've had an alright week. I have no reason to be in a good mood, I should be stressed like hell, but I'm not. I'm happy.
I've also realized that I dont do my homework. I take home all my homework every night with full intentions of doing it, but if I have to work, or babysit, or hang out with people...my homework does not leave the sanctuary of Jansport. Oh well. I have an A in chem.
High school is stupid. School is stupid. There are so many things in life tat make me so happy, teach me so many things. And school just seems like its a huge distraction from the big picture. I could be interacting with the world right now, but I'm stuck in a stupid class that I learn nothing from surrounded by people who add nothing to my life. It just seems like there is so much more, and this is taking away from what I could be experiencing. I sound like a stupid emo kid "life sucks, life sucks, life sucks!" Life doesnt suck. I just wish I was somewhere else at the moment.

I babysat for Taylor and Raegan last night, it was the most amazing time ever. Rae was so happy all night, she cant crawl yet and she lays on the ground pounding her hands and feet and giggling like crazy because she cant go anywhere, she looks like a seal that has never been out of water...it was the most adorable thing you have ever seen. Taylor was really tired, and not as happy as she usually is, but she was my adorable little girl anyway. I was cleaning the kitchen and Taylor had gone into her room, i called her back in to finish her milk and she had mardi gras beads around her neck, a bunch of bracelets and huge blue sunglasses on. She walks in the kitchen and says "Yes?" it was the most hilarious thing I have ever seen, I laughed hytserically, I thought I was gonna die. She smiles and says "I was playing dress-up." I can see that. I had a lot of connecting with Raegan time, we played and giggled and ate stuff. I missed feeidng babies so much, the messes they make are so cute. I love little babies and their noises, there is nothing in this world that is more beautiful and heart-warming.I love them so much, they light up my world. :)
I was coughing like mad when I got home, and I didnt have nay of my homework done. I used to be able to do my homework when I watched tay, but now that there are two it is much more difficult...i had not counted on this. My mom was like - you sound awful. So she said I could sleep in. Austin came to wake me up at 9, and I got dressed and we went to breakfast. I decided that school was overrated and I would stay at his dorm and do homework while he went to class...which is where I am now. David was supposed to go to class...and he left...but came back at an unfortunate time. Apparently it is too cold to walk outside. Austin decided the same thing and is also not going to class. Silly kids. I decided that Austin and David are my new family, I like the feeling of being around them, just sitting here makes me happy. Good friends and babies = what life is for.
Austin is a much more wonderful guy than he realizes, and I dont know how to make him believe me, I guess this will just take time, its just frustrating. He's very good to me though, very amazing boy. I'm keeping him, I decided.
Ok fine, I'll do my homework. Stop yelling at me.

Sometimes I wonder why I write in here...you all probably know this stuff anyways.
So...Roy and I broke up. I still dont really understand that one, but after losing him for the third time, it really wasnt as hard and painful as I would have expected. By no means am I saying this was an easy thing for me,it just wasnt what I would have expected.
After the blow, my friends decided to be the most amazing people ever. Mindi and Justin are the best friends in the world...and there are definately no words to describe my dear Kate. Kate helped me to write the most amazing essay ever, which hopefully will land me at MSU, and then she took me to Ann Arbor for a weekend of fun, where she was the most hilarious person in the whole world to watch (i just wanted to kiss her *haha*).
It was there that I met Austin, who I am now dating. Hes definately amazing, and he makes me smile. Life works in mysterious ways, I must say. Somehow I went from being the most depressed, pathetic human on earth to making some amazing new friends and becoming my happy, smiling self once again. I would write more here about Austin and how wonderful he is, but I'd be here all night, and I could just tell him how I feel anyway.
With Austin came David...austin's roommate. He's a pretty great guy as well, and I feel lucky to have met him.
Dammit kate, you get all the good ones.
I had an interesting conversation with my mom. I'll be 18 in two weeks, and I basically told her that I am now going to live my life the way I want to live it regardless of what she thinks because I am a mature and responsible person. She sees me for ten minutes a day, what right does she have to say what I do? She doesnt even know me.
Anyways...the point is - I am happy again. And I have the most amazing friends in the world. And I have the most amazing new boy.
AND I'M GOING TO COLLEGE!!!! I got into Grand Valley...which really isnt all that exciting considering that the only place I want to go is State. But still...I got into college, that in itself is exciting, I now know with 100% certainty that I will not have to stay here next year. yay. Life = Good again.

I dont see anything respectable about lying, getting into other peoples buisness where you are not welcome or needed, making judgements on people that you do not know, and there is definately no respectablity in attempting to end a perfectly wonderful relationship by bringing in horrid deciet.

You are a bad person. Plain and simple.

I am not controlling at all. I do nothing to hold him back from what he wants or needs to do. I want nothing but the best for him. I love him more than anything in the world.
I trust my boyfriend, and he knows it. He trusts me too, as he should, I am a trustworthy person. Take note that he did not believe you, or even bat an eyelash.

The fact is, little girl, that you are jealous. As you have every reason to be; he is a great guy, better than most ever come by. But, fact number two - he's mine, and I love him, and he loves me. Nothing you say could ever take that away. Your futile attempts are childish and narcissistic.
Why is it, I wonder, that you would attempt to sabotage three relationships when none of these people have done anything to you? Why should I lose a best friend and a boyfriend, why should they lose eachother, and why should he lose me all because you decided to be a lying, manipulative bitch? It doesnt make sense in my mind, but then again it wouldnt, considering that I am a rational person.

You are pathetic.

End of story.

Stay out of my life. Leave me alone, dont come near me.
I am done now.

So, I have stories. I guess tell me if you want to hear them, which you probably dont, but thats cool too.
Stories -
-Roy left
-I died
-I broke my foot
-My cat ate my finger and I had to get stitches
-My CRAZY INSANE OMFG night
-Yard Sale
-Amoreena
-Katie
-Homecoming
-The Diabolical SLUT FACE who lied to roy to try to break us up (YOU ARE A SKANK WHORE!!!)
-The new guys at The Giant
-The Surfer boy
-My new outlook on life, I changed a bit
-My new plan (i think everyone who needs to know already does...)

but yeah. I have an assload of work to do now, so away I go.

INothing has made these tears pour down my face. It hit me today. All those things I was gonna do before he left, I have to do now. Because he's leaving. Hes leaving. Everyone leaves, and no one has ever come back. I cant, I just cant. I finished the picture album tonight. All the pictures of us, all have captions. I searched and searched, and couldnt find a picture of us that truly captures how I feel about him, I couldnt find one for the cover. I wrote him a letter, and put in in the slot in the cover, where a picture is supposed to go. I'm giving it to him when I say goodbye. oh my god i cant say goodbye, i cant do it. please no. god

I am so ridiculously jealous of all you people going to college, moving into MSU. I want it so bad I can taste it, and I have to go to freaking high school for another year. Roy and I visited MSU today, we saw Katie, Molly, Kate, and we were supposed to see Rachel, but shes not cool enough to want to see us. She didnt show up, so we walked around her dorm. So, thats what I have to say. I want to go to MSU. (Mindi and Sloane university all the way). Ha.
Roy and I went to the football game tonight. It made me really sad that I'm not cheering, but I did realize just how amazingly stupid we look at games. That made me glad to not be cheering, but i still wish i was. . Life is so crazy. Mindi is an awesome color guard captain. I have to work and babysit tomorrow.
I have no friends at high school. Im taking two writing classes first semester...I hate writing papers, I'm the worlds worst procrastinator. Fuck. High school is a fucking joke, I want OUT so damn BAD.

So. Roy and I went to grand haven yesterday with my mom and took my boat out. Then to saugatuck for dinner, and bought lovely cinnamon rolls from pumpernickels. mmmmm. I went tubing and got pretty wasted a couple times.
Today I hurt reallllllly bad. Spent all day with Roy. Went to a movie, and sushi, and ran a bunch of errands, and rented a movie, and those were 12.5 hours very well spent. Tim is getting me a cell phone next week, I'm excited. Last episode of six feet under EVER is tomorrow, tears. I work 5 days next week, blah. Jacks Mannequin comes out on tuesday, yay. I'm tired and going to sleep now. roy is staying for 4 days longer than originally planned, he now leaves on the 6th....my first day of school...what a GREAT day that will be........NOT.